Saving Claire: A Chaos MC Novel Read online

  I do.

  “Good. Take another one.”

  I keep pulling air into my lungs.

  He nuzzles his head in the crook of my neck, breathing with me.

  “That’s good. Keep breathing. I’ve got you. I’m here. I won’t let you go.”

  His voice cracks on the last word.

  I lean back a bit and he loosens his grip. I put my hand on his cheek and urge him to look up at me. He has tears in his eyes.

  “What’s wrong? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

  Jax rests his forehead against mine and cups my face with his hand, stroking my cheek with his thumb.

  “Don’t apologize, Claire. I just… fuck. I wish I could take your pain away, make you forget every horrible thing that happened there.” He takes a calming breath and runs his fingers through my hair, placing a sweet kiss on my forehead. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “It’s nothing. I’m ok.”

  “Don’t do that. Don’t hide. Not from me, beautiful. I heard… you said no one would love you. You said it over and over again.”

  I nod. “He made me say it. He came in every few days while I was in The Mercy Room. He said he’d break me. Told me to repeat it after him. Again, and again. I’d say it and he’d hit me. Or kick me.” I start shaking again at the memory.

  “Shh, shh, it’s ok. You don’t have to talk about it anymore.”

  We sit in silence for a few minutes. He places another gentle kiss on my forehead, on my cheek, on my collar bone. It’s not meant to be sexy, it’s meant to show me he cherishes me. But I want more. I lift his head back up towards me and kiss him.

  He opens for me and threads his fingers in my hair, pulling me close. The kiss goes from sweet to desperate. I turn in his lap, lifting myself up and adjusting so my legs are on either side of his hips. He automatically runs his hands up my bare thighs and rests them on my hips, drawing me closer.

  I start to ride him, pulling his bottom lip between my teeth. He growls, and I swear I can feel it down in my bones.

  I trail my hands down his chest, feeling every chiseled muscle till I get to the waistband of his sweatpants. I tug at the drawstring, but then I feel his hands covering mine.

  “Claire…”

  “Please, Jax. I need you.”

  “Sweetheart… I don’t know if this is a good idea.”

  I stop everything and look in his eyes. “Do you not want me?” Panic and shame rise up in my throat.

  He cups my face in both of his hands. “Claire, I want you so bad it hurts. But I don’t want to take advantage of you. You’re so vulnerable right now, I can’t be selfish with you.”

  “Please, Jax. I want this. I want you. Please make me forget everything. Please, Jax.” Yeah, I’m begging. I need him to touch me, and I need it right now.

  “Fuck, baby.” He moves his hands back to my thighs as I start rocking against him again. He trails his hands up towards my hips while he runs his mouth down my jaw, neck, and shoulder, nipping, licking, and kissing as he goes. “I’ll make this so good for you. I’m your first, right, angel?”

  He looks up at me and I nod.

  “I’ll be gentle. I promise. I’ll make you feel so good.”

  He claims my mouth again with a renewed energy and focus. I moan into his kiss as he slips his hands under the back of my shirt.

  He gently rolls us over so I’m on my back. Then he gets up off the bed and undoes the drawstring on his pants. I prop myself up on my elbows to enjoy the show. He pulls his pants and boxers down and stands at the foot of the bed completely naked, his cock standing at full attention, pointing right at me.

  “Jax… you’re… so big.” I blush, I’m sure I sound so stupid and inexperienced.

  He grins. “Thanks, baby. It’s all for you.”

  He kneels at the foot of the bed and grabs my ankles to pull me forward.

  “I can’t wait to get inside of you, but I need you dripping for me. Do you want that, angel?”

  He starts peeling my panties down my legs, tossing them behind him. Starting with my left foot, he blazes a trail of kisses, over my ankle, my calf, taking extra time to nip and lick at a sensitive spot behind my knee I didn’t even know I had. Then he moves up to my inner thighs and I let out a needy sigh.

  Placing me feet on the edge of the bed, Jax kisses up one thigh and then down the other, refusing to go to the one place I need him most.

  “Jaaaax… Please.”

  “I know baby. I’m taking my time with you. I promise I’ll always take care of you.”

  His hands move up my thighs and spread me wide open for him. I feel his hot breath a few inches away from my needy pussy.

  “You’re so wet for me, angel,” he growls.

  Jax lifts one leg over his shoulder, and then the other. He slides his hands under my ass and pulls me up towards his face.

  He rubs his nose around the outside of my lips once, twice, three times. And then the teasing stops. He flattens his tongue and licks me from my entrance up to my clit and I cry out.

  He repeats the long, slow licks up my center. Each time his tongue hits my hard, swollen nub, I buck my hips.

  Jax brings his thumb to my clit and starts rubbing it in fast circles while his tongue thrusts in and out of my hole.

  “Oh my god… fuck… yes!”

  He replaces his tongue with his finger and I cry out again.

  “You like that, baby? You like when I fuck your sweet pussy with my tongue and fingers?”

  “Mmmm…” I all I can manage, as words are beyond my capabilities at the moment.

  Jax goes back to swirling his tongue over my clit, alternating between fast, slow, hard, and soft licks. It’s driving me crazy. My legs start shaking and I move my hips towards him, running my fingers through his hair.

  “That’ it, beautiful. Ride my face. I fucking love tasting you.”

  He shoves two fingers into my entrance and curls them up, hitting some place deep inside that sends pleasure to every cell of my body. I’m on the edge and he knows it.

  Sucking my clit into his mouth, Jax pumps his fingers faster and faster, giving me what I need.

  “Jax… Jax… holy shit… I’m…” I can’t finish the sentence. He’s taking me higher and higher, I know I’m about to snap.

  “Come for me. Come for me Claire.”

  Every muscle tenses, and I hold on to the sweet torture as long as I can. Jax gives me one last lick and I fly apart, free falling into an ocean of sensation as wave after wave of ecstasy crashes over my body.

  I feel his tongue move back down to my entrance as he laps up my juices, while his thumb presses against my clit, prolonging my orgasm.

  I finally come down, my breaths ragged, my heart racing.

  “Fuck, angel. You’re delicious.”

  Jax stands up and walks over to his nightstand. I scoot up on the bed and watch as he rolls the condom on his huge dick.

  I should be nervous, I know it’s going to hurt. But I want him. I trust him. I think I might love him. And I want to be connected to him in every way.

  The bed dips with his weight and he crawls over top of me, placing his arms on either side of my head.

  “Are you nervous, baby?”

  I shake my head and loop my hands around his neck, running my hands up the back of his head to pull him towards me.

  He leans down and kisses me. It’s wild and passionate, stealing the breath from my lungs. He breaks the kiss and ghosts his lips down my neck and across my collar bone. He reaches up and pulls the top of my tank top down till my right breast pops out. Jax rubs my pebbled nipple with his nose and then licks it before sucking the whole thing into his mouth.

  “Fuuuuuck, Jax. More…”

  He leans back and I whimper at the loss of his mouth.

  “Relax, angel. I’ve got you. I need you to take your top off.”

  “Oh.” I blush.

  “So eager.” He grins as I pull my shirt over my head and lay back do
wn.

  He runs his eyes over my breasts, down my belly, landing them on my glistening pussy. He slowly drags his gaze back up over my body. I’ve never felt more wanted in my life.

  “Claire… you’re fucking gorgeous.”

  His hands start on my shoulders and slowly run down my body, over my breasts where he takes time to rub both of my nipples. His fingers trail down my ribs, over my belly, and grip my hips. It’s like he’s memorizing every inch of my body with his touch. Jax leans down and places a tender kiss on my bruised ribs.

  “I’ll be careful, angel.”

  He brings his hands back to either side of my head and leans in for another breathtaking kiss before dropping his head to my breasts. Jax trails his nose up and down the valley between my breasts and breathes me in. He takes my right nipple in his mouth, swirling and sucking. Then I feel a sting as he bites down, shooting lightning down to my clit.

  “Yes! Jax!”

  He grunts and sucks more of my breast into his mouth while kneading the other one in his hand. Finally, he pulls back with a pop when my breast leaves the suction of his mouth. He moves over to the other one and gives it the same treatment. This time, when he bites down on one nipple, he pinches the other between his fingers. I feel it everywhere.

  “Again,” I moan.

  He licks and kneads and then bites and pinches my nipples.

  “Yes!” I feel myself soaking the sheets, gushing each time he bites down.

  “Fuck, baby, I love your tits. I love how sensitive you are.”

  Jax continues to tease my nipples with his tongue and teeth and I start shaking.

  “Shit, Jax, I think…”

  He reaches down and presses his thumb down on my clit and I fucking come. Hard.

  “Goddamnit, angel, that’s so hot. I love that I can make you come from biting your gorgeous nipples. You’re incredible.”

  I’m still coming down from the unexpected explosion when I feel Jax drag his cock up and down my slit. Each time he hits my nub I shudder as tremors of my orgasm ripple out from my core.

  “Are you sure you’re ready for me, Claire?”

  I look into his sparkling blue eyes. He’s hungry for me but he wants to make sure I’m ok. His sincerity wipes away any doubts I had.

  “I’m sure, love. I want you.” I said it without thinking, and I wonder if he noticed my new nickname for him.

  He bends down and kisses me, sliding himself just a few inches inside of me.

  “It’s going to hurt a little, baby. But I promise I’ll be gentle. I’ll make it so good for you. Do you trust me?”

  “Yes.” I say it without hesitation.

  He thrusts the rest of the way in. I feel a pinch as he tears through my virginity, stretching me wide. Jax swallows my cry in a soul-crushing kiss.

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart. Just relax. Breathe for me, baby.”

  He kisses me again and stays still, letting me adjust to the new sensation of him inside of me.

  “Are you ok?” His eyes are full of concern.

  “Yeah, I feel so full. But good. I want more. Please, Jax.”

  He pulls out and I miss him inside of me. Then plunges inside again.

  It’s gentle at first, Jax rolling his hips in shallow thrusts.

  “More, Jax. I can take it. I want all of you.”

  Jax groans and drops his head to my chest, sucking on one nipple and then the other.

  His thrusts become deeper. I feel his balls slapping my ass and I moan. Each time he pushes his length inside, he brushes my clit, and I feel the coil start to wind in my belly.

  “You feel so good, baby. So hot and tight. I love being inside of you.”

  I moan and start to move with him.

  “Fuck, baby. So good.”

  “Faster, please.”

  Jax leans back on his heels, angling my hips up, the new position hitting that spot deep inside of me that drives me crazy. He continues to thrust inside of me, pushing and pulling my body into him, fucking himself with my body. It feels amazing. I never want him to stop.

  He looks down between us.

  “Shit, Claire. I love watching my cock disappear inside of you.”

  I tense up, feeling the orgasm start to take over. Two more thrusts and the coil inside me snaps.

  “Jax! Jax! Fuck! Jax!” I moan over and over again, clawing at the sheets and throwing my head back. He rubs my clit with his thumb and I keep pulsing around his thick cock, pleasure prickling my skin as sweat drips down my forehead, between my breasts, and down my back.

  “That’s it, baby. Fuck! Milk my cock, beautiful.”

  He thrusts once, twice, three times and then stills.

  “Claire! Ah, Claire!” Jax shakes as he comes. I love seeing him lose control in that moment, pleasure coving his face as he lets go and finds his release.

  He shifts and comes down on top of me, holding himself up by his elbows, still deep inside of me.

  He licks the sweat from between by breasts before sealing his lips over mine, sliding his tongue inside of my mouth, drinking me in.

  When he breaks the kiss, we’re both fighting for air.

  We both groan as he pulls out of me. He quickly disposes of the condom in the trash can next to the bed and then pulls me close to him, tucking me into his side.

  I drape a leg in between his and place my hand on his abs. He plays with my hair and kisses my forehead.

  “Are you ok, angel?”

  “Mmmhmm. More that ok.” I smile up at him. He searches my eyes to make sure I’m telling the truth. “Is it always that good?”

  He grins. “No, baby. Only with you. Only you. You’re perfect.”

  We stay tangled up in each other for a while before he gets up and heads to the bathroom. He comes back out with a wash cloth, just like he did last time. I don’t know what it is about that gesture, it’s so sweet and thoughtful.

  He cleans me up but doesn’t dress me or put any clothes on himself either. Jax walks around to the other side of the bed and pulls the covers over us, snuggling up close to me.

  “Now get some sleep, precious. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

  I nod and smile at his new nickname for me. Precious. He thinks I’m precious.

  Chapter 17

  Jax

  I watch Claire sleep and try to process all of the emotions swirling around inside of me. Tonight was a rollercoaster and my poor heart is still reeling.

  When I first woke up to Claire’s voice I wasn’t sure what to think. I sat up and looked over at her face. It was pinched in discomfort and fear. And then I heard it. Just a whisper at first. “No one will love me.” I wasn’t even sure I heard her right. Then she said it again, louder.

  “No one will love me,” She whimpered. My gut twisted at her words. I tried gently brushing her hair off of her face but she jerked away, like she was bracing for someone to slap her. She repeated the mantra, yelling it this time. “No one will love me!” My heart couldn’t take anymore, I couldn’t stand hearing those words come from her mouth.

  I put my hands on her shoulders and gently shook her, begging her to come back to me. I could tell she was struggling with what was real and what was a nightmare. I held her until she was with me again and could breathe.

  I fucking hated hearing the story behind her nightmare. What the fuck? This Davis asshole was going to die. I’ve never killed anyone, our MC rarely takes things to that extreme, but I knew I was going to murder Davis. I couldn’t allow a monster like him to walk the same earth as my Claire.

  And then Claire went and blew my fucking mind and begged me to make her forget everything. I should feel guilty about having sex with Claire, but I don’t. I can’t bring myself to regret a single moment. She was perfect. So beautiful, so eager, so sensitive. It was by far the best sex I’ve ever had and I can’t wait to get back inside of her.

  I’m already picturing all of the ways I want her. In the shower. On my kitchen table. Over the back of my couch. On my bike. Fuck. T
hat last one has me hard again.

  And I didn’t miss what she said when I asked if she was ready for me.

  “I’m sure, love. I want you.”

  I have no reason to think it meant anything. I mean, she said it in the heat of the moment. But it gave me hope. I already knew I loved her, but I didn’t expect her to love me back. Certainly not right away.

  I look down at my beautiful, sleeping angel. She looks peaceful again. Relaxed. I tighten my hold on her and pull her deeper into my chest before resting my chin on top of her head.

  I go to sleep with one word in my head.

  Mine.

  ***

  The morning came far too soon. Claire was still asleep, her limbs all tangled up in mine. God, I could stay here all day, and I wanted to. But, I had club shit to deal with.

  I woke Claire up with kisses trailing down her body and then reluctantly got out of bed, promising her I’d be back soon.

  I was a few minutes late to church, despite the fact that I only had to walk to the front of the clubhouse.

  “Nice of you to join us, Jax,” Dom greeted me with a knowing smirk on his cocky face.

  I couldn’t bring myself to do anything but smile, ‘cause fuck yeah, I just had incredible sex with the hottest woman I’ve ever seen and she was mine even if she didn’t know it yet.

  “Now that we’re all here,” River said with a pointed glance in my direction, “Let’s go over the plan.”

  He reiterated the plan for tonight that included using the rats to draw out Savage so we could at least get a picture of him.

  “Slash, you’re on camera duty, Dom as well. We’ll need to plan on getting multiple shots, see if we can capture something clear enough to run through facial recognition software.”

  Slash and Dom nodded.

  “Jax, Bear, you are there for backup. Do not, I repeat, do not instigate anything. We’re just doing our research. We don’t know what the fuck we’re walking into, so don’t stir up shit unless you’re in danger. Got it?”

  “Yeah, prez, got it,” I said. Bear nodded in agreement.

  ***

  I have a long day ahead of me in the shop. Technically, I own the shop, but everyone treats it like it’s owned by the MC. I don’t mind. I get the majority of the profits and I’ve got more money than most people would expect just from looking at me.