Saving Claire: A Chaos MC Novel Read online

  As these thoughts swirl around my head and choke up my throat, I hear her voice. It’s coming from the kitchen.

  I head over there and lean in the doorway, taking in the sight. Claire’s back is facing me, and I can see she’s got breakfast and coffee and she’s chatting away with Mia like they’re old friends. She looks like she belongs, and that thought hits me somewhere deep.

  I stand there like an idiot for far too long, just staring at her. It feels like forever since I’ve seen her.

  “Looks like we have some company,” Mia says as she smiles knowingly. Fuck it, everyone seems to know how I feel.

  I smile and nod at her before focusing on my Claire.

  Yup. My Claire.

  “Hey, angel, how are you feeling?”

  She turns around and gives me the biggest smile. She’s so beautiful. I swear to God my heart stops for a second. It looks like Mia brought her some new clothes and some stuff to take a shower. She’s all cleaned up and she fucking takes my breath away. I didn’t notice the freckles on her nose and cheeks before. Her hair is down and it’s longer than I thought it would be. I’ve only ever seen it in a ratty bun on top of her head. Now it’s long and silky smooth and begging me to run my fingers through it.

  “Hi, sport, I’m pretty good.”

  I grin at her nickname for me and walk towards the back of the kitchen to grab some coffee before sitting down in the empty chair next to her.

  “Did you sleep ok?” I ask her as I place my hand on her lower thigh. I can’t wait another second to touch her, and this way maybe Mia won’t notice. Not that I care, but I have a feeling Claire might.

  She stiffens at my touch, but then relaxes and even opens her legs a bit. My mind goes to all sorts of dirty places at the thought of her legs spreading.

  Shit. I’m in trouble.

  She audibly swallows. “Uh, um…” She stammers as the cutest blush appears on her cheeks. “It was ok. Just some bad dreams, I guess. But I’m ok now.” She looks up and gives me a small smile.

  I hate that I wasn’t there to hold her during her nightmares.

  “Sorry to hear that, sweetheart. It’ll get better.” I risk moving my hand a little higher on her thigh, and trace circles on her inner thigh with my fingers.

  “Oh, uh, it’s ok.” It comes out all breathy and it’s totally fucking hot getting her all worked up.

  Mia clears her throat and grins as she looks between Claire and I. “I’ll leave you two kids alone. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

  With that, Mia leaves and I’m left alone with Claire.

  We’re silent for few minutes while Claire finishes her breakfast. I continue massaging her thigh, pushing my hand higher and higher. I don’t reach all the way to her center. I don’t think I’ll be able to leave if I go down that road.

  “So,” I say to break the silence. “Can I follow you back to your room?”

  I grin as I watch her eyes grow wide.

  “So I can change your bandages, of course.”

  Her face turns pink and I know exactly what she was thinking. I lean over and brush my nose against her neck, slowly dragging it up to her ear. Goosebumps appear on her neck and shoulder as I breathe in her scent. I put my mouth to the shell of her ear, almost touching it with my lips.

  “Unless there’s something else you wanted to do?” Her breath catches in her throat and I watch her pulse pound on the side of her neck. I fucking hate seeing those bruises on her neck, but I need a taste of her. I place my lips over her pulse and gently nip at it before licking the skin and placing a small kiss on top.

  She closes her eyes and tilts her head to the side to give me more access.

  God, I could do this all day. Tease her and lick her and bite her. But not right now. Not like this. Fuck.

  Instead of devouring her, I place my forehead on her shoulder and take a deep breath.

  “You taste so good, baby. I definitely want to do more of that. Unfortunately, I have some club business to attend to, and as much as I want to taste every part of you, I really should change your bandages and then head out.”

  I lift my head to look at her. She’s trying to get her wits about her and it makes me so damn excited that I made her this way. She nods her head and slowly opens her eyes.

  I stand up and discretely adjust my cock, who desperately wants out, and follow her back towards her room.

  Chapter 13

  Claire

  I sit on the edge of the bed and hold my wrists out. Jax kneels in front of me, in between my legs. An image of him laying me back and running his hands up my thighs before licking my aching pussy flashes in my mind.

  Get it together, girl. That is not going to happen.

  He looks at me like he knows exactly what I was just thinking. I blush, and he grins like he wants the same thing.

  “How are they feeling, angel?”

  “It’s fine. They are a lot better today,”

  He takes off the bandages and rubs more ointment over the raw skin with the most delicate touch.

  “What is that stuff? It really helps,” I ask.

  “It’s a special cream they gave me at the shop when I got my last tattoo. It prevents infection and forms a protective layer around the skin once it’s dry. It helps to heal everything up in record time.”

  He moves to the other wrist and trails his fingers further up the inside of my arm. He lifts my arm to his mouth and places a gentle kiss on my exposed forearm.

  I can’t help but let out a little sigh. His touch sends sparks to every nerve in my body. When his lips touch my skin, I feel a shot of electricity in my clit. I’m instantly wet. Fuck.

  “Can I look at your ribs, beautiful? I want to see if the bruise is healing ok.”

  I nod, since words are failing me at the moment. I go to lift up my shirt when his hand covers mine.

  “Here, let me.” He lifts up my shirt with one hand and gently traces the outline of my bruise with the other hand. “I’m so sorry they did this to, sweetheart.”

  I shrug. Honestly, it hurts, but it’s not the worst they’ve done. “It’s ok. I’m fine, really. You don’t need to worry about me, tiger.” I smile at my new nickname for him, hoping to lighten the mood.

  “It’s not ok. You shouldn’t ever have to hurt like this.” He takes a deep breath and relaxes his jaw. I’ve never seen someone so worked up over my injuries. At the compound, bruises were a mark of shame. If you had a black eye it was because you were disobedient. You were basically shunned until the bruise healed.

  Jax leans in and places the sweetest, most gentle kiss on my ribs, like he wants to kiss away the pain. I blink away the tears as he looks up at me.

  My hands move automatically, and I run my fingers through his hair. He closes his eyes like it’s the best thing he’s ever felt.

  I ask the question on my mind, the one that he never answered before. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

  He opens his gorgeous blue eyes and trains them on me in the most sincere look. “Baby, it kills me that you even have to ask.” He turns his head and places another sweet kiss on my forearm. I move my hands down to his shoulders.

  “I just… I… I don’t have anything to give you back. Like, literally, I have nothing.” Fuck. What am I doing? I can’t be caught up in this Greek god of a man with his kind eyes and intoxicating touch. “I need a plan. I just need a plan and then I can get as far away as possible…” I realize I’m mumbling to myself, but I’m so lost in thought I don’t even care.

  In one swift move Jax slides one arm under my legs while placing one arm on my back. He stands up, turn us around, and sits back down on the bed with me in his lap.

  I’m still kind of in shock and stare at him with my mouth open. He stares at my lips and the air becomes thick with what we both want. Before I can scramble away or think of what a bad idea this is, his lips claim mine. He drags my bottom lip between his teeth, and I softly moan into his mouth.

  He dives back into my mouth an
d I get lost in the sensations and flavors of Jax. His tongue tangles with mine and he growls into my mouth. Another wave of wetness hits my panties.

  Fuck. This man is ruining me.

  He breaks the kiss and we both catch our breath.

  He rests his forehead on mine, an intimate gesture I’m growing to love, and looks into my eyes. “First of all, angel, you’re not going anywhere.” I open my mouth to protest, but he silences me with a quick kiss. “And second of all, I don’t expect anything from you. You don’t owe me anything, beautiful. I’m here for you. I want to take care of you. Please, please let me.”

  I don’t even know how to respond to that. Why would he want to take care of me? And more concerning, why do I want him to take of me? I don’t really have any other options, at least not right now. I can stay for another few days until I figure something else out. Besides, I have a feeling my protests will not be tolerated, at least not today.

  I curl up on his chest and tuck my head under his chin. His warmth and heartbeat feel like home. I nod, fighting back these strange feelings. “For now. I’ll stay here for now.”

  He wraps his muscular arms around me, engulfing my small frame completely and places a kiss on the top of my head.

  “I want to stay with you all day, angel, but I have to go out on an assignment. I probably won’t be back till late tonight.”

  I untangle myself from his arms and swing my legs back on the ground before standing up and turning towards Jax. He reaches out and puts his hands on my hips and pulls me in between his legs. I smile at him and try not to get lost in his eyes and panty-melting grin.

  No worries,” I say before placing a quick kiss on his forehead. “Go get ‘em, kiddo,” I smirk, hoping to make him smile a bit a lighten the mood before he has to go.

  He surprises me by giving me a light, playful spank on my ass. I squeal and try to look indignant, but I know he sees me smile anyway.

  “I’ll be back soon, beautiful,” he says. He winks and walks out of the door.

  Chapter 14

  Claire

  I am still feeling all warm and fuzzy after Jax left. I can’t stop thinking about his gentle touch that sends electricity through my veins and makes my clit throb. And if I had any insecurities about how I just threw myself at him yesterday, they are gone now.

  Because he kissed me and drank me down like I was a well in the middle of the desert. Like I was his salvation. Like I was just… his.

  I trace my fingers over my lips, still unable to believe he actually wanted me. Me.

  And then there were his words, which keep tumbling around in my head.

  “I don’t expect anything from you…I’m here for you. I want to take care of you. Please, please let me.”

  God, I could fall in love with a guy like that.

  But, shit. That’s not what I need to be thinking about. Every time he’s around me I lose my train of thought, my plans for leaving just fly right out the window and I get lost in him.

  A knock at the door shakes me from my thoughts.

  “Come in!”

  “Hey, lady!” Mia pokes her head in the door. “Stacy and I are headed into town for mani/pedis. Want to join?”

  “Oh… um, I don’t really think I should leave. I mean, I don’t know if that’s the safest thing for me right now.” I feel like the more time I spend here, the more people I’m going to have to tell.

  Or I could just leave because that was the plan all along.

  I look up at Mia, trying to read her face. “I’m sorry. It was really nice of you to invite me though!”

  “Uh, if you’re not leaving then we won’t leave either.”

  I don’t understand. “What? Why not?”

  “We want to hang out with you, duh. We can do mani/pedis here. God knows I have enough nail polish.”

  “You don’t have to do that, really. I’m good here.”

  “Nuh-uh. You’re stuck with us. Deal with it.” She smiles at me and bends down to grab two huge duffle bags.

  “What’s all this?”

  “Clothes, shoes, underwear, bras, pajamas. Some lotion, a toothbrush, some toothpaste. Good shampoo and conditioner, not whatever travel size crap they had around the club. Um… a brush, hair ties, bobby pins, some books, an iPod…”

  Before she can finish I’m throwing my arms around her and trying to hide my tears.

  “Are you ok? I didn’t mean to make you cry!” She hugs me back.

  “Yeah, I’m ok, I just… thank you,” I sniffle.

  Pulling back I look at the bags of stuff. “Mia, this is too much. I mean, I don’t even know how long I’m staying here.”

  She gets a serious look on her face, puts one hand on her hip, and points at me with the other hand. “Forever. You’re staying here forever. We’re not letting you go.”

  The flood of emotions washes over me and I start sobbing like a crazy person.

  God, why am I such a freak.

  Mia hugs me again but squeezes a little too tight around my ribs. I cry out and hold my side, reminded of why I need to leave. I can’t let them find me. Not just for my safety, but theirs. In just a couple of days I’ve found a family and now I have to protect them, even if it’s going to hurt like a motherfucker to leave them behind.

  “Shit! Claire, I’m so sorry. Are you ok?” Mia places a hand over my hand holding my side.

  “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m sorry. God, I’m such a mess. I usually don’t cry this much. Or at all. You’re really getting the brunt of it.” I sit down on the bed and try to get myself together.

  “You have nothing to be sorry about! I cry all the time about stupid shit. I think you’ve earned the right to a few outbursts.” She sits next to me and we’re silent for a few moments.

  “You don’t have to tell me what happened. I don’t want you to have to relive it all. But I just… I care about you, ok? You can talk to me. About anything. Or nothing.” I lean over and rest my head on her shoulder. She rests her head on mine.

  “Thank you, Mia. You don’t know what that means to me.”

  “Of course, lady.” She takes a deep breath. “I get the feeling that you’re ready to bolt at any moment and I that would make me so sad. Not to mention it would ruin Jax. He’s got it bad for you.”

  I sit up and look at her.

  “Oh… I, um… I don’t know about that.” My cheeks are burning, and I know they give away my feelings for Jax.

  “Whatever, girl. I know you know it’s true.” She wags her eyebrows at me and I bust out laughing. “Yes! Score. You need to laugh more. I mean, you need to cry too, especially if you don’t usually cry. You just need to feel it all, ya know?”

  I nod, so thankful for her.

  “Ok, then. Enough of this,” she waves her hand around. “Let’s paint our nails and eat a shit ton of ice cream while drooling over McDreamy.”

  “That sounds like the best day ever.”

  ***

  Three episodes of Grey’s Anatomy and two pints of ice cream later, Mia is curled up on the couch taking a nap. Stacy had to start her shift at the bar, so I’m left alone with my thoughts.

  Which are all over the fucking place. One part of me really does feel safe here. I’ve grown attached to these people – Mia, Stacy, Jax… Even River has a protective, if not gruff, fatherly charm. They all became my family so fast. But the other, bigger part of me knows this is temporary. I can’t just hide out here for the rest of my life. Is that really better than being stuck in the compound?

  Ok, yes. Hands down, yes. But I want to go outside, I want to have a job and a purpose. I want to make my own choices, live in my own place. I want freedom. Plus, the longer I stay here, the more danger everyone else is in. I know elder Davis is looking for me, and if he finds me here he won’t hesitate to hurt or even kill to get me back.

  I can’t be selfish with my new family. I have to leave.

  Fuck, even the thought of never seeing Jax again feels like a dagger to my heart. How did I get attached
so fast? Even more confusing is how he got attached to me so fast. I mean, not that it’s the same. He has pretty words and he kisses like a man possessed, but it probably doesn’t mean as much to him as it does to me. He’s my first kiss. The first person I’ve ever wanted to touch me.

  Jax, on the other hand, probably has a lot of experience. I’m sure he has no trouble getting anyone he wants.

  It doesn’t matter. He’s not yours. You’re leaving. It’s better this way.

  Tears threaten to escape my eyes. Again. What the hell is my problem? Am I seriously losing it over a guy I’ve known for a few days?

  I snuggle down into the couch and decide to take a little nap. Maybe my thoughts will be clearer when I wake up. Yes, I’ll have a plan when I wake up.

  ***

  “Claire, honey, wake up. It’s ok, you’re ok.”

  I bolt up, sweating and shaking, the nightmares slowly receding into the dark corners of my mind where they’ll stay until the next time I close my eyes.

  “Hey, hey, you’re ok. Here, drink some water.”

  I look over and see Stacy kneeling down in front of the couch, holding out some water.

  I nod, still feeling disoriented.

  “Do you want to talk about it? You were out for a while and we wanted you to get some rest. I was on my break and came to check on you and you were thrashing around and screaming.”

  “Fuck, I’m sorry, Stacy.”

  “Oh, honey, no need to apologize. I’m just worried about you.”

  “I’m ok, really. What time is it?”

  “It’s pretty late, almost midnight. Do you want me to get you some tea?”

  All I want is Jax. I woke up terrified, and while Stacy is so kind and wonderful and more of a mother than I’ve ever known, I really just want Jax to wrap his arms around me and tell me I’m safe.

  Ugh. I’m so fucked.

  I hoped he’d be back by now, I wonder if he’s ok. The fear of losing him hits me like a goddamn shovel to the ribs, which I know all about. But this pain is so much worse.